Should we get to know God before committing to him?
Conversations with Matthew #1
I have had an ongoing conversation in DMs with one of my followers on X since early 2020. He pops in and asks questions about Christian faith, and I answer to the best of my ability. Since other people probably have the same questions as Matthew, it seems worthwhile to share our conversations here. My responses are edited and elaborated for this article.
Should we get to know God before we enter a relationship with him?
What should someone do who wants to believe in God but isn’t sure if they should? Maybe they pray for God to prove his existence to them, but don’t get any obvious results. I’m asking mostly for myself because I’ve been feeling spiritually numb and wish I could have a more confident belief, and there’s a lot of questions I want answers to, as well as personal things that bother me.
We all go through periods of spiritual numbness. I have had spiritually very dry times in my life, one of them not that long ago. During those times, I felt so drained of spirituality that I stopped reading the Bible and going to church. I just had nothing in me. I talked to a friend who is very strong in faith, and he confessed that he had been through the same thing a few years ago. He stopped reading the Bible, stopped going to church, and just fell flat on his face. He gave me “permission” to let those things go for a while. What I kept doing was praying, even if it was half-heartedly at times.
I am not sure if those times of numbness are trials where God withdraws himself or if we are under spiritual attack or if it is just a result of too many earthly cares. Whatever the case, my advice would be to continually pray. Of all things we can fail to do as followers of Jesus Christ, I think the last one should be talking to God. Just say something to Him every day. Anything.
Does God want us to believe in him based on blind faith/no evidence? Would you say he gives us *evidence* that he exists that is available to everybody? Or does he expect people to believe for no reason? Because the latter would seem ridiculous.
That would be an emphatic no from me. I could never believe without evidence, and I strongly believe God does not require that. I wrote an article recently about whether God’s word is hard or easy to understand, and the overall answer is that it is easy to understand the basics. The evidence for God is available to everyone, and Paul says as much in Romans 1:20. Over and over in the Bible we are given reasons and evidence and even told to put them to the test (1 Thessalonians 5:21).
It is clear to me that we are to base our faith on the evidence we have been given. This is one reason Jesus performed miracles and appeared to many people after He had been resurrected. God gave us intellects, and therefore gives us intellectual (as well as other) reasons to believe in him.
I’ll add to that, maybe they doubt whether or not they should want to know God because without meeting and talking to him they wouldn’t know if they should want a relationship with him. In the same way that one wouldn’t choose to marry someone without ever meeting them.
Interesting analogy, considering that arranged marriages have a lower divorce rate than marriages where partners choose each other, but we do not need to get hung up on that.
I think it is a good idea to get to know God before committing your life to him. Why? Because it is to our benefit to know who God is and to choose to commit ourselves to him for the right reasons. What are the right reasons? Well, let us first consider some wrong reasons:
Because you want a justification for your own morality
Because you want the social connections that come with belonging to religion
Because you think you will materially benefit from dedicating yourself to God in a sort of pagan “I worship you, you give me a good harvest” relationship.
I am going to say something that is perhaps controversial in that even Pascal’s Wager might not be a right reason to believe in God. Is it right to try to believe just to have your eternal bases covered? I dunno. Seems a bit cynical to me.
In my opinion, the right reasons to believe in God are:
Because you know he exists. There is lots of evidence for this.
Because you recognize that he is the sovereign creator of all things. It makes sense to want a relationship with the person who created you.
Because God is love. But you will only know this if you study his Word, talk to him, and try to carry out your purpose, which is to do good works.
It sounds like you are struggling with #1 on a personal level. I did, too before I became Christian. I believed God existed because of all the evidence, but I did not feel a personal connection to him. As I describe in my testimony, it was not until I went through some pretty severe trials that I felt close to God and came to know, on a personal level, that he is real. I have had two other times in my life since then when I genuinely felt God’s presence. The last time was earlier this year. I was at a low point and asked God to be near me. Not as a test of his existence, but because I sincerely desired the closeness of a Father. Have you ever been at a terrible moment in your life, and then someone who loves you just puts their arms around you and that alone lifts you up? That is all I wanted. A couple of days later I got what I asked for. Two whole weeks of feeling God’s nearness. It was incredible. I am still living off of that experience.
If you are able, I would advise you to study his Word, preferably with a strong brother in Christ. It is kind of amazing what you learn about God by diving into scripture. It will make you want to know him personally. But also to talk to God. Be real with him. If you are struggling and doubting, tell him. If you are frustrated or angry, tell him. Ask him sincerely for what you want. I have found that the times I have asked God, in raw sincerity, for the spiritual things I want, I get them.
Praying for you, brother.